Nirmalendu Goon's Poetry

When I'm Old

When you are old and gray and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;



How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

~ William Butler Yeats

I donno why but whenever I read this poetry I feel really sad :( What a beautiful poetry! I'm not old, but when i look at my younger cousins like Fabin, Raad, Rakib, Raiyan, Aunik, Akash...i get scared! Their 'Teen-age' force me to believe i'm in my middle age now! Isn't it pathetic how time pass away so quick! Its seems like yesterday when i used to cry for toys! Now here I am, 30 years old man..all set to start 2nd innings of life! Damn!

Cry, cry...Don't cry!

When did you last time cry for others pain. When I say others pain, I mean entirely unknown people's pain? When we cry in others pain, do we really cry for them? Or we cry because we have our own pain, which is very similar to their pain?

August 02, 2006 this was a day that I would never forget. I was then in Cyprus when I received the horrible news that my grandmother(Nanu) had past away. I knew that my grandmother was sick, and unfortunately she had been in hospital for months. But I couldn’t believe it, it almost felt like a bad dream, and I sincerely wanted to wake up but can't. As I knew in my heart I wasn’t dreaming and all I could do is cry. I didn’t want to accept it; she was a great woman, someone that I spent so much time with. I remember all those childhood days at grand ma's house, and having meal together, watching TV, the smell of the kitchen, her voice, sound of her keys around the house. How could I forget every details about her, I was one of her very dearest grandson!

A month ago when my best friend Zaber's father died, and he was crying like a baby on the phone, i was crying too...partly because i can't stand my best friend is crying in pain, partly because i was in pain remembering my grand ma's death. Our mind is so strange..we donno how it travels through one thought to another just in a second. We always cry when nearest people around us cry. But do we really cry for the same reason, i guess not. Ofcourse we are sympathized but this is not the whole story. That day I realized we've our own pain to cry for..we always unconsciously find a way to relate their pain with our one, and cry. I may sound selfish, but take a minute and think..I'm sure you will realize it is true!

I Am Who I Am

There was a time when I used to take seriously every single thing that people pronounce about me. No matter who the person is.. My best friend to street boy, I used to care everybody. But as the time passed away I realized its not healthy to pay attention to all these craps. I started to change..and I managed to change. But...there is a but, but there are some moments when it's better to react or speak up rather than keeping the mouth shut.

Recently some of my friends comments (or shall I say nasty opinion) came into my attention. They thinks I post all the positive status n polished photos on my facebook wall or twitter just to make myself look better than I am in real. Well, I can't change what u think but what I can do is to give a clarification(even I think I should not clarify things). I post good or inspiring thoughts because I wanna spread positivity among people, not the misery of my little life. I don't want people to see my photos where I look miserable n think yaks..what the hell! Trust me, I'm not on facebook to get highest 'Like', I'm not on twitter 2 get brownie points neither a fan following. I'm here 2 spread a positive vibe n connect with real people n friends.

Guys... I am who I am. I don't pretend to be a saint or a sinner since I am a bit of both. All those who want me to be someone else sorry to disappoint. So here is the advice, if u can't handle good things around you, just back off, unfollow me or block me from your network. Sometimes I may please u &sometimes I may disappoint. You can't please all people all the time. That is life. If u r my friend u will understand. Take care...peace :)

My First Farewell Party

Last night was my first farewell party. It was a surprise. Sharif, one of my Bangladeshi friend arranged this wonderful party. From the beginning of my Cyprus life, he was a good friend. But back in 2007 one night when he was drunk we had an disgusting argument. As a consequence we stop talking to each other.

But last new year eve,after odd 2 years I patched up with him. As I'm leaving for Bangladesh soon, I thought it's not a good idea to keep this bitterness alive.Life is too short to continue such silly fights, isn't it?

The party was rocking and I got so drunk last night. As i know my limit, after a while I escaped the party without saying anyone good bye. I know my friends, they'll never allow me to leave that early from the party. I know it's weird, and I'm so sorry but I didn't have any other option but escaping that party.

My friends have a big heart, I'm sure apparently they'll forgive me.Now on a special note, I'd like to take the privilege to thank Sharif for this wonderful, heart warming party. It means a lot to me, thanks again :)

So...that's all for tonight...Sleep well guys

Apple iPad

From my Twitter account I’ve noticed, more people were talking about the debut of the iPad than the anything of the world. This either means that people really like gadgets or that we're all sick of news.
What Apple iPad; What are the characteristics of the IPAD? It's a half-inch thick and weighs just 1.5pounds/.68kg , with a 9.7-inch capacitive touchscreen IPS LCD display, and it's running a custom 1GHz Apple "A4" chip developed by the P.A. Semi team, with a 10-hour battery life and a month of standby. It'll come in 16, 32, and 64GB sizes,There's a 30-pin Dock connector, a speaker, a microphone, Bluetooth, 802.11n WiFi and optional 3G, as well as an accelerometer and a compass. There's also a keyboard dock, which connects underneath in the portrait orientation, support for up to 1024x768 VGA out and 480p composite out through new dock adapter cables, and a camera attachment kit that lets you import photos from your camera over USB or directly through an SD reader.
The device is managed by iTunes, just like the iPhone /ipod touch/ipod.
What does it Cost? I was honestly expecting it to cost about a million dollars, which makes the actual price tag of (as low as) $499 seem pretty reasonable in comparison. It all depends on the model you want and the data plan you choose. Here's what to expect.
Will the iPad be a Success? Quote from a friend: "OK, so I was wrong about the iPod, but this is going to fail too." I'm torn, personally. It seems to me to be a lot like a netbook with a stand, but I also have friends who could buy a single, beat-up, old shoe if it had the Apple logo on it, so who knows.
My opinion, friends don’t spend your hard earn money on an iPad now. As this is the first version, it doesn’t have many features. The first version is more like a concept car than something you’d really drive. So I suggest waiting for future iterations with more features at a lower price!

Joshua Hair

Other day I was having a chit-chat with my friends about hair cuts. I was wondered some of them doesn't know What Joshua Hair is! Well look at the picture and read this journal, you'll realize u know this hair cut but the proper name!

Joshua hair can be described as a typical 90s haircut, dramatic center part, sometimes longer in the front, sometimes gelled down on the sides for that "wet look." It can be curly, frosted, greasy etc.etc.etc.

But Joshua isn't just a haircut, it's a way of life. Being a Joshua means wearing fake Oakley EVERYDAY even if it's cloudy. It means being the first to yell "PARTY FOUL" when someone drops a can of Bud Light. It means climbing up walls and jumping down.... just to be a spectacle. A man who can call himself a Joshua is the center of attention wherever he goes.(Courtesy: www.tumblr.com/)

Go that extra mile, boy, buy that silk shirt with the blue flames, because YOU my friend, are on fire.

Love,

Johney

Twitter, my new love

Now a days I’m into Twitter more than the Facebook. Everybody were asking what is Twitter all about. Well, Twitter is without a doubt the best way to share and discover what is happening right now. But if you wanna elaborate, Twitter is a free social networking and microblogging service that enables its users to send and read messages known as tweets. Tweets are text-based posts of up to 140 characters displayed on the author's profile page and delivered to the author's subscribers who are known as followers. Senders can restrict delivery to those in their circle of friends or, by default, allow open access.

Users can send and receive tweets via the Twitter website, Short Message Service (SMS) or external applications. While the service itself costs nothing to use, accessing it through SMS may incur phone service provider fees.

Since its creation in 2006 by Jack Dorsey, Twitter has gained notability and popularity worldwide. It is sometimes described as "SMS of the Internet". The use of Twitter's application programming interface for sending and receiving text messages by other applications often eclipses direct use of Twitter.

I love the idea of Twitter. Because it gives me a lot of information, it up-dates me, or should I say it’s like a newspaper for me. And the other reason of loving Twitter is, it keep the records of the things that I’m doing now. In this fast paced modern life we don’t write Diary usually… but Twitter is like my Today’s world type of diary… And yes, I forgot the most important thing. This is the URL of my Twitter, follow me, if you want: http://twitter.com/sendmeabc

Love…
Johney

More of Me...

Hi guys…Hope all of you are doing so well. I’m cool. As I’ve some spare time on my hand, I’ve decided to write about my thoughts on a regular basis. Recently I’ve got some really encouraging messages from my readers, from my friends. So I thought it will be a better idea if I spend my spare time a bit more on writing rather than doing any other unproductive things. What you say?

So here we go…Now on I’m gonna write more about every other things that interests my attention. If any of you feel bore by my email notification, just spam it. And friends, if you want me to write about any specific topic, let me know…I’ll try to satisfy you through my writings..So guys catch very soon, don’t go stay tuned 

FRIENDSHIP AWARDS 2010

Usually people have 1 best friend, or sometimes 2. But I’m so lucky because I’ve at least 4 friends (note the word ATLEAST) who can do anything and everything for me. These friends are true friends…they are never forgotten, they live within my heart and soul… no matter how far they are, how often we meet or talk.

Because of my straight forward attitude, purposely or not purposely I’ve made some enemies in every phase of my life… but thankfully their number is nothing compare to the number of friends I’ve made. I know this FRIENDSHIP AWARD is a bit funny, but I chose to announce it just to let my friends how much I love them… I’m so thankful that I’ve got these people in my life…

I know friends can’t be categorized… But for the sake of the Award there are the categories of MY FRIENDSHIP AWARDS 2010:

1. Best Friend (Male)
2. Best Friend (Female)
3. Top Friends in Bangladesh
4. Top Friends in Cyprus:
5. Top Friends in the Rest of the World
6. Top Facebook Friend
7. Friend with a Golden Heart
8. Most Helpful Friend
9. Unforgettable Friend
10. Best friend at Work
11. Youngest Friend
12. Most Funny friend
13. Top New Friends of the Year
14. Friendship Revived

And the Award goes to:
1. Best Friend (Male): Tarek
2. Best Friend (Female): Rose
3. Top Friends in Bangladesh: Sumon & Zaber
4. Top Friends in Cyprus: Greghoris
5. Top Friends in the Rest of the World: Ginka
6. Top Facebook Friend: Antonina Dykhta
7. Friend with a Golden Heart: Stella
8. Most Helpful Friend: Babu, Imran, Perveg, Reza and Shetu
9. Unforgettable Friends: Camellia
10. Best friend at Work: Helen and Veronica
11. Youngest Friend: Atik and Ruhul
12. Most Funny Friend: Debashish
13. Top New Friends of the Year: Bappy and Silvia
14. Friendship Revived: Bobby, Tutul, Tamanna, and Opu

Now I’d like to take the privilege to write some lines for the friends who won the Award this year. So here we go:

Tarek: Man, you are some1 who made my life so much comfortable and easier…you know how, right?
Rose: You are miracle of my life…Whatever I’ll write; it will be less to describe my feelings for you.
Sumon and Zaber: It doesn’t matter how far you are, but you guys are with me in every step of my life.
Greghoris: You are the most supportive friend that I ever manage to make in Cyprus.
Ginka: You know how much you mattered in my life, right? My Cyprus life won’t be fulfilled without knowing you..
Antonina: Thanks to facebook…You are nothing but the sunshine in my life.
Stella: I read your text or mails again and again, and wonder how wonderfully graceful a person could be!
Babu: Thanks God you were my roommate during summer! Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able know about a real hero!
Imran: I can’t think my Nicosia life without you.. You have always been there for me!
Perveg: You are some1 I’ll never forget… You’re a great human being to learn kindness from.
Reza: You are the coolest dude of Xiou Street No.1
Shetu: I’ll never forget your support that you offered me at the begging of summer 2009.
Camellia: God knows how you are and where are you! But wherever you are, I hope you are doing great!
Helen: You made my Intercontinental life smooth to survive. Your unconditional help is unforgettable!
Veronica: You are the 1 from Intercontinental, with whom I was most comfortable with…
Atik: Sometimes we don’t need a huge time to be friends… you just meet and you are friends.. like you!
Ruhul: You have been here, you have been there…finally you are here. I hope you understand what I mean!
Debashish: He is like Johnny Lever, his face is enough to make me smile 
Bappy: Weird! But finally we became friends… Wow!
Silvia: I wish I had sister like you… You are the most sweetest, cutest girl I ever met…You are just like a doll Silvia!
Bobby: If one day you discover there is no1 beside you, just remember me..I’ll be definitely there for you!
Tutul: The first friend of my life! I was the happiest person in the world when I got you on Facebook..
Tamanna: It’s a shame that we’re not as friends in Stamford as we are now… Thanks I got you on Facebook!
Opu: I can't relate you now; you are a whole new person. But still love to think once we were best friends!

Now I doubt if any of my friends will read this entire post… It’s huge! I should stop now. Guys…Love you so much…Always stay with me…If I make any mistake, point it to me but don't leave me…..

Brothers

“Brothers” is an intense drama about an experience that threatens to destroy a man's very soul. It contains one of the most dramatic, suspenseful, emotionally-charged scenes of the year. Despite that, it isn't over the top or melodramatic. That is a rare thing in movies these days.

Tobey Maguire of “Spider-Man” stars as Captain Sam Cahill, a soldier who is the favored son of retired soldier Hank Cahill (played by Sam Shepard of “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford”) and husband of pretty Grace Cahill (Natalie Portman of “V for Vendetta”) and father of two bright young girls, Isabelle (Bailee Madison) and Maggie (Taylor Geare). He has a lot to live for and will need every bit of that incentive to stay alive in Afghanistan after he is captured by the Taliban. He is forced to do terrible things to stay alive, things so terrible he cannot admit them to anyone after he is freed from his captors. The demons in his mind are destroying him, and his family in the process.

While he was in captivity, Cahill's brother, Tommy (Jake Gyllenhaal of “Rendition”), recently released from prison, helps care for his brother's family in Sam's absence. Sam is mistakenly listed as among those killed in action in Afghanistan during a helicopter crash and his family assumes he is dead. Tommy and his friends remodel Grace's kitchen. Tommy also plays with the kids and comforts Grace. One night, Tommy and Grace kiss. Shortly after that, Sam is freed and returns home. He suspects something has been going on between Grace and Tommy. This suspicion weighs on Sam's already unstable mind. Sam is not the same man who left. He has become unstable and easily loses his temper. His own wife and children are afraid of him.

Much of this story is familiar. You have the father who loves one son, but is ashamed of the other. Tommy blames his father for his brother's supposed death, filling Sam's head with a lot of military and patriotic nonsense. Tommy represents the Hollywood view of the war in this movie, while Sam and Hank represent the Red States. When Sam yells at Grace, he asks her “Do you know what I had to do to get back to you?” He might be saying the same to all those who oppose the war, namely, “Do you know what I had to do for God and country to keep all of you safe?” The sacrifices of this war are many and have fallen on too few shoulders. This is the movie's unspoken underlying conflict, two radically different views of the war in Afghanistan. This is not an intellectual conflict, but an emotional one, and it plays out in an extremely intense scene.

The acting in this film is superb, and that includes the two precocious child actors, even though they have to say some very un-childlike dialogue. Tobey Maguire, whose acting was not up to par in “Spider-Man 3,” brings his acting game up to a whole new level in this film. He just might get an Oscar nomination for this performance. The oft-disrespected Natalie Portman does a fine job as the conflicted wife. The direction and production values are very good, but the story does seem to end a bit abruptly. But in word, Brothers is worth watching.

Antaheen

Antaheen-the name itself haunts, A lovely movie and a must-watch for every Bangali movie lover. A refreshing break from all those sloppy films they keep doing. Indeed when you watch this movie, you are acutely aware that the director has substance in his head, unlike those numerous Bengali directors who make stupid meaningless films.

Rahul Bose with his calculated acting prowess makes Abhik the cop believable. It feels good to think that even cops have the desire to secretly chat with fancy names instead of always trying to fill their pockets. Radhika Apte-what a discovery. She is indeed a brilliant find and a welcome respite from heroines who wear gaudy clothes and run around trees. Her role as the journo was neither OTT, nor restricted. She had the right expressions for every dialogue she delivered- again rarely found in our Bengali films!

But yes, the director by bringing Aparna Sen and Sharmila Tagore together for such a short span of time leaves us craving for more. Wish he had given them a little bit more of screen time together. What I particularly liked was the chemistry between Sen and her on as well as off screen hubby Kalyan Ray. His attitude to life was something a lot of people today are afraid to acknowledge, much as they would love to.

And the typical viewer that I am, I have no qualms in admitting that Brinda's death had made me sad. I too had started hoping that Abhik and Brinda would finally discover each other's secrets and confess their love for each other. The twist in the tale came as a shock. Congratulations to the director for pulling off that scene so convincingly.

The introductory song by Shaan coupled with lyrics by Chandrabindoo band members and 'Bhindeshi Taara' at the end were quite touching. Ofcourse Shreya Ghosal does her job extremely well with those soulful numbers.
Special mention for Mita Vashisht. She just needs to do more roles and bring out her talent. The scene where she bursts out at her husband after learning about Brinda's death has been so convincingly portrayed.

With such films as Anuranan and Antaheen, Aniruddha Roychoudhury simply leaves you asking for more. It seems that he is one of those few who are determined to revive the Bengali film industry and rekindle our dead interests. His movies seem as episodes exploring relations and I' m already waiting for the next. Hope he will once again prove his mettle and keep making meaningful movies.
You can download the movie from torrentz by this link: http://www.mininova.org/tor/3023490
And if you don’t have that speed to get torrent, then you have youtube. And the link is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrqUzKZOzww&feature=PlayList&p=0F7A9E5CF0AE8A23&index=0&playnext=1
And the good news is both of the links comes along with sub-title  so enjoy!

People Who Influence My Life..

Years ago, Oscar Wilde said, “Most people are other people. Their thoughts are some1 else's opinion, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation”

Do you know anyone whose life has never been influenced by others? Probably not. I believe we become a whole person by adding bits from every single people that we meet in our life or has an influence on our life. This is the influence of others, what make us the person we are today; usual, or extraordinary. Today I’m gonna talk about all those people that has an influence in my life. Thanks God that I've met them; otherwise my life could have been worst whatever it is now!
I've been categories these people in family, colleagues, and friends. So guys here we go!

Family: My mum, my mum, and my mum. Whenever I need inspiration, I think of my mum’s life. The way she drove her life and our life is extraordinary. Who ever know me well, they know I’ve a fire inside me, a fire to achieve goals, a fire to do things right, a fire to fight until win..and I’ve got this fire from my mum. My mum is nothing but a divine guidance!

Colleagues: What I believe is colleagues can never be friends! Need a friend?..go to clubs or search on facebook for school, college, or uni friends, you might get lucky. But never try to look for a friend in your colleagues, trust me it won’t last! So naturally I’ve never been well received by most of my colleagues but my bosses. Among all my bosses two of them have a good influence on me.

First Mr. Andreas, my boss from Crown Resort Horizon. He taught me how to love the job, and achieve excellence. Without his guidance it was impossible for me to bag “Employee of the Year 2007” Award.

Second Ms. Martina Knitter, Front Office Manager of Intercontinental Aphrodite Hills Hotel and Resorts Cyprus. She is the one who taught me what professionalism is. God what a lady! It was an honor to work with her for last two seasons 2008, and 2009.

Friends: Here is my favorite topic, my friends  . Here is the list of my friends who have an influence in my life..the sequence is periodic!

Although Koli and Tutul(who have a very special place in my heart) are first friends in my life, Opu is the one who taught me what friendship is, how it feels like having a best friend! Unfortunately, he is also the one who showed me how to leave friends behind and change just like that..but anyway, I still appreciate the fact that he was my first best friend ever!

Sumon..What can I say about him! He is my best friend since 1998(I know him from 1996 though).Knowing him was quite an experience!He was from North pole, and I was from South pole. But today if I’m good with people (I mean my behavior), I’ve learnt it from Sumon. I never seen such good guy in my life!

I can’t imagine my life without having Sadia..my very best friend from Stamford University. She made me smart, she made me independent, she made me strong, she made me clever…In a word she made fit for today’s world. Sadia, তুমি না থাকলে আমার কি হত বলতো?

If I would have a brother, he would be like Zaber..my another best friend from Stamford University. He taught me what simplicity can be, how to live a life with honesty and patience. I’m always impressed to see his effort to get into the next step of excellence!

I know Rose through Sadia. We all have been working as a teacher in an English Medium School (it was back in 2001 to 2004). She was the most bold girl that I’ve came across till that time. Now she is in UK for last 5 years, we speak every other day on mobile…Our relation is still as alive as back home!

The last addition is Ginka who has influenced my life a lot in recent couple of years. Ginka is some1 who have been with me in thick and thin these years. If you ask me what best thing happen with you in 2008? The answer is Ginka. She brought a life in me! I'm so glad that our path have been crossed :) 

Happy New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS…

How are you and how was your New Year eve? Actually most importantly how was your life in 2009? Was it great, good, okay or worst? I think I had my worst year ever. 2009 sucked every possible ways… I’m glad 2009 is finally over.
I really hope and pray the year 2010 will bring sun shine in all of our life. 2010 will eliminate all the darkness and fortunate us with our own share of prosperity and happiness. Welcome 2010…

PS. A month ago, accidentally I’ve deleted some of the posts from my blog. For last 2 days I’ve been re-posting most of them which I had a draft copy on my laptop. The original posting date and time attached with the writing. So guys.. please don’t get confused to see the blog archive dates.
Have fun!

Why do we lie?

As human being, we are trained to be skeptical; we don’t trust people easily because people lie to us all the time and vice versa. So in this case my rule is, everybody is a liar until proven honest.

Lying is bad or so we are told constantly from birth. Honesty is the best policy… “The truth shall set you free, I chopped down the cherry tree” blah blah blah… whatever. But as a kid or as an adult still we lie. The fact is, lying is a necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth... the truth freaking hurts. Here I can draw the example of myself. People say a lot of things about me behind my back. Like ,”Jonhney talks, walks like a female…etc”. And you what, I rate myself 6 out of 10 as a man… I know I’m not that dashing, actually not dashing at all. I understand why people say those things behind me, not in front of me; because everything what they are saying is truth. As I said before truth hurts, people are lying when they are in front of me. And I like that they lie, because I don’t wanna hear those naked truth.

There is the other angle of truth. In 2007 when I was working in Crown Resort, one day I got a good amount of tips for my good service. Usually we share the tips with other colleague, but we don’t share the tips if we get that specifically, personally. As that tips was a personal tips I didn’t share it with my fellow colleagues. As a consequence, some of my colleague with whom I don’t share a good rapport, they spread everywhere that I’ve stole the tips. In few hours everybody were whispering here and there, they were looking at me like I’m a thief. I was so humiliated. I went to manager…and he said “Johney why do you care a lot. You know what truth is. So don’t react. Keep doing your job..Let them bark”. And you know what, here is the most interesting thing; end of the year on annual function Crown Resort awarded me as “EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR” over more than 100th of other employee. I’ve learnt, no matter how hard people try to ignore or deny it, eventually the lies fall away, like it or not. You may try to fabricate, but end of the day you know truth is truth.

But again, still we lie. So here's the truth about the TRUTH.. It hurts. So we lie.

8:17 PM, Friday, July 10, 2009

Grow Up!

As a kid I’ve always been told this word ‘grow up’. My father thinks, whatever I did, it was not mature enough for that age…so “Johnny grow up”. But I’m suspicious, if anybody ever grows up! I’ve heard that it’s possible to grow up; I’ve just never met anyone who’s actually done it.
As a youngster we get protected by our parents so that we don’t fall for the wrong person. We get upset by our parent’s attitude towards our lover. We don’t understand why our parents are so protective. We decide we’ll be better parents; we’ll always stand for our kid’s love. But as we become parents, we do the same what our parents did to protect us from the wrong person. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don’t go our way. Is it sounds like a grown up thing? I bet it’s not.
In all age we have our own secret. We whisper secrets with our best friend, in the dark. We share our secrets before we go to sleep, or at the pub or just on phone. Because these places are dark, we can open up ourselves in the dark, we feel share in the dark. We are human being, so we look for comfort where we can find it. Does a grown up person seek for the dark to share his secret? Donno!
At the age of 30, one of my best friends is getting divorce soon after having five years of conjugal life. It’s been two months they are living separately in different places. She doesn’t wanna get divorced but her husband. He is so determined to divorce her. But she still believes everything gonna be alright, things will be fine before it reaches the court, some miracle will happen and he’ll come back to get her back. Do you think it’s a grown up attitude? Thing is we hope against all logic, against all experience, like children, we never give up hope.
After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here’s what I've decided. There's no such thing as a grown-up. We move out, we move away from our families. But the basic insecurities, the fears and all the old wounds just grow up with us. We get bigger, taller, and older. But, for the most part, we're still a bunch of kids, running around the playground, trying desperately to fit in.

5:24 PM, Thursday, July 9, 2009

Pain

Pain… I’m not talking about the physical hurt or disorder. I’m talking about emotional distress; an underlying feeling that people try to avoid. For me it’s nothing but the source of unhappiness.

Pain… You just have to ride it out. Trust me folks there is no other way to reduce your suffering or diminish your pain. You can only hope it goes away on its own. Don’t try to drop off your pain. Instead of going away it will stick to you. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breathe deep and wait for it to subside.

When we are in pain, we are sad, we cry, we complain. We try to do every single thing which can reduce our pain. But none of the possible solution works. May be which is why I’ve got a different explanation about pain. Do you wanna know what’s that? Please read the following paragraph.

After solving my last problem, after getting away from my recent pain I started to believe, maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop. May be you’ll disagree with me for a while but think, think my friend think, I’m sure deep down in your heart you know it’s true.

6:44 PM,Wednesday, July 1, 2009

কবিতা

ঘাপটি

আজকাল অনেক কথা শোনা যায়...
লোকে বলে ও পালিয়ে গেছে
পালিয়ে গেছে! পালাবে কেন?এভাবে কি কেউ পালায়?
তবু হাওয়ায় কথা ভেসে যায়, অমূলক কথা শোনা যায়।
ওরা বলে ও হারিয়ে নিয়ে গেছে
হারিয়ে গেছে! পাগল নাকি! এভাবে কি কেউ হারায়?
তবু লোকে মুখে কথা ভেসে যায়, অকারণ কথা শোনা যায়।
কেঊ বলে ও মরে গেছে
মরে গেছে! আশ্চর্য! এভাবে কি কেউ মারা যায়?
তবু গুজবে কথা রটে যায়, অবাঞ্ছিত কথা শোনা যায়।

আজকাল অনেক কথা শোনা যায়...
আর আমার কষ্ট বেড়ে যায়, ও যে বন্ধু ছিল!
আর কত কাল বল শোনা যায়, আমার কষ্ট বেড়ে যায়...
তবুও কানে কথা এসে যায়, অনেক কথা শোনা যায়।

19.06.09 Pafos, Cyprus, 1:02am,

আবার কবিতা

দ্বিধা

তোমাকে ছাড়া আছি কেমন;
জানো কি তাই...
আর আমি নাই, আমি ভাল নাই।

ভাল নাই তবু লিখি না তোনায়;
জানো কি কেন...
তুমি জানো সব, জানো এই আমায়।

তুমি কি আসলেই জানো আমায়;
জানি না আমি...
কতটা জানাকে জানা বলে, সে জানো তুমি।

আমাকে ছাড়া আছো কেমন;
জানি কি আমি...
জানি’ বলে দ্বিধা হয়, তবু বলি জানি আমি জানি।

“১২ই জুন, রাত ১২টা ১২ মিনিট
নিকোসিয়া, সাইপ্রাস”

আমি উত্তেজিত, আমি আনন্দিত... ১১ বছর পর কবিতা লিখলাম, ভাবা যায়? এই লেখা কবিতা হিসেবে কতটা গ্রহণযোগ্য, এটা নিয়ে বিতর্ক হতে পারে... কিন্তু এটা লিখে আমি যে আনন্দ পাচ্ছি... এ আনন্দের কোন তুলনা হয় না, এ যেন নতুন করে প্রাণ ফিরে পাওয়া, মরতে মরতে বেঁচে যাওয়া...হা হা হা।

যখন ইন্টারমিডিয়েটে পড়তাম, তখন কিছু কবিতা লিখেছিলাম...৭টা কি ৮টা। ওই বয়সটায় তো অনেকেই কবিতা লিখে...আমিও লিখেছিলাম। ওই লেখাগুলো কতটা কবিতা হয়েছিল জানিনা তবে তখন নিজেকে খুব আতেঁল মনে হয়েছিল, আর এখন কেমন হাসি পাচ্ছে সেই দিনগুলোর কথা মনে করে...নিজেকে কবি ভাবতে শুরু করেছিলাম, কেমন ছাগল ছিলাম, না না ছেলেমানুষ ছিলাম...হা হা হা।

আমার ওই হাতে গোণা কবিতা লেখার অনুপ্রেরণা ও পাঠক ছিল এক’ই জন...”অপু”, আমার সেই সময়ের সবচেয়ে প্রিয় বন্ধু। অপু দারুণসব কবিতা লিখত; আমি জানিনা ও সেসব কবিতা কখনো কোথাও ছাপিয়েছে কিনা, ছাপালে ভাল, না ছাপালে কবিতা প্রিয় অনেক মানুষকে বঞ্চিত করল ও...যাইহোক, যা বলছিলাম, তো ওর কবিতা পরে মনে হত যে আমিও কিছু লিখি, দেখি পারি কিনা! আর ওর নিজের সংগ্রহে ছিল অনেক ভাল কিছু কবিতার বই...অনুপ্রাণিত হওয়ার জন্য এই দুই কারণ’ই যথেষ্ট ছিল তখন। আর ওই আমার কবিতার একমাত্র পাঠক ছিল কারণ নিজের লেখা সবাইকে দেখাতে লজ্জা লাগত, আত্নবিশ্বাস ছিল না যে... কি বোকা ছিলাম, না?

দিন চলে যায়, তখন ছিল ১৯৯৮ এখন ২০০৯... এখন অপুর সাথে যোগাযোগ নেই, আমার আগের মতো লজ্জা নেই, কবি হওয়ারও কোন ইচ্ছে নেই, হাতে অবসর সময়ও নেই। নেহাৎই খুব ইচ্ছে করছিল, তাই লিখলাম। সময় হলে জানিও কেমন লাগল...আশায় রইলাম!

7:03 PM, Monday, June 15, 2009

সেই সাত দিন...

যাক্‌ অবশেষে আমার Microsoft word 2007 successfully install হল। কতকিছু যে লেখার আছে...কত কিছুইনা ঘটে গেল এরই মাঝে। Rejoin করার চারদিন আগে চাকরি চলে গেল, কিনা summer এ হোটেল Busy হচ্ছে না...Very low occupancy তাই...আবার সেই চাকরি ফিরে পেলাম হারানোর সাতদিন পর। কি বিচিত্র এই দুনিয়া...এই সাতদিনে(27th May-3rd June) প্রাণটা প্রায় বেরিয়ে গিয়েছিল। পথে পথে ঘুরে চাকরি খোঁজা কি সোজা কথা? তাও আবার এই Season এর শুরুতে!

এদিকে আবার মাথা গোঁজার ঠাঁইও নেই। চাকরির দেয়া বাসায় উঠবো বলে নিজের বাসা ছেড়ে দেয়ার নোটিশ দিয়েছি এক মাস আগে। নতুন ভাড়াটে আসছে... তাই যথা সময়ে বাসা ছাড়তেও হয়েছে। পকেটে আবার বাড়তি পয়সাও নাই যে নতুন বাসায় উঠবো...কি যে যন্ত্রনা...কি লজ্জা...কেমন যে অসহায় লাগছিল! শেষে গিয়ে উঠলাম আমার এক বন্ধুর বাসায়...শুরু হল আমার চাকরি খোঁজার পালা। যেখানেই যাই, No Vacancy.. We are not busy.. We are fully stuffed… এরই মাঝে CV drop করছি। অনুরোধ করছি ফোন করার জন্য যদি By any chance কোন vacancy create তৈরী হয়...

একদিন, দুইদিন, তিনদিন, চারদিনের দিন ফোন এলো এক হোটেল থেকে... জানাল আমার ব্যাপারে ওরা আগ্রহী...খুব শীঘ্রই আবার ফোন করবে ইন্টারভিউয়ের জন্য।এদিকে বিভিন্ন হোটেলে আমার যেসব পরিচিত মানুষ ছিল, তারা সবাই চেষ্টা করছে আমার জন্য...এরা যে আমাকে নিয়ে এতো চিন্তিত জানা ছিল না...এখানে কিছু মানুষের নাম না লিখলেই নয়, যেমন Martina(Intercontinental Hotel), Helen(Aliathon Hotel), Diana(Sunset Bay Hotel), Stefania(Intercontinental Hotel)…I’m so grateful… for your unconditional support… Thank you girls…Love you!

সাতদিনের মাথায় ফোন এলো Intercontinental থেকে, ফোন করেছে Ms. Martina Knitter, Front Office manager. উনি আমাকে ফিরিয়ে নিতে চান...Not because she likes me a lot, but she strongly believes I was a great employee. উনি হোটেলের বোর্ড অফ ডিরেক্টরদের মিটিং এ এটা প্রতিষ্ঠা করতে পেরেছেন যে, they needs me and I deserve this job completely.

যদি আমাকে জিজ্ঞেস করা হয় জানুয়ারী ২০০৭ এর পর আমার সবচেয়ে দুঃসময় কোনটা ছিল? উত্তর, নিঃসন্দেহে এই সাতদিন। কিন্তু এই দুঃসময়ে আমার বেশ কিছু বন্ধুর সাপোর্ট ভোলার মত না...Parveg, Shetu,Ginka, and Jhuma... Guys Thanks a lot... I would like to thank Farooq, and Tareq too.

নাহিদ বলছিল, “জনি দেখিস্‌, জুন মাসে সব ঠিক হয়ে যাবে”। হা হা হা...ভালই তো ভবিষ্যত বাণী করিস্‌ দেখছি... আমারতো প্রায় সব ঠিক হয়ে এল...কিন্তু তোর বা ঝুমা’র ত কোন গতি হল না। I wish তোদেরও যেন সব ঠিক হয়ে যায় এই জুনে... জয় হোক জুনের।
Monday, June 15, 2009

আমি বাংলায় লিখতে পারছি...কি মজা!

ভাবতেই ভাল লাগছে যে আমি বাংলায় লিখতে পারছি।সব ধন্যবাদ অভ্র কিবোর্ড এর, এমন দারুন আবিস্কারের জন্য। আরও একজন কে ধন্যবাদ না জানালেই নয়..."রাজ" আমার কলকাতার বন্ধু। কারন ও আমাকে এই সফটওয়্যারটা পাঠিয়েছে।

এই প্রথম প্রথম বাংলায় লিখতে একটু সময় লাগছে ঠিক...কিন্তু আমি নিশ্চিত এটা অচিরেই ঠিক হয়ে যাবে।বাংলায় লেখা পড়ে কি আমার মতো আমার বন্ধুরাও আনন্দিত? প্রতিক্রিয়ার অপেক্ষায় রইলাম।

তো বন্ধুরা আবার দেখা হবে...ভাল থাকো সবাই...

7:37 PM, Sunday, May 24, 2009

My Parting Thoughts

Sometimes I think I’ve born in a wrong era. I wish I could have born sometime in 1920…Why? Well, I’m sick of this complicated time. There is competition in everywhere…we wanna win, we wanna buy every single thing that scientists are inventing every other day to comfort our live..We wanna prove ourselves best in every single step of our life…we are just rushing around this crazy world…but for what? If this is the way we mean to live, then what is the way we wish to die?

Do you remember when the last time you walk in the rain is? Have you ever wake up very early in the morning to enjoy the sun rise? Tell me when is the last time you see a sunset? Or when did you see the stars come out at night? I can’t remember when is the last time I stop by a garden or park to feel the soil between my toes… If this is the way we mean to live, then what is the way we wish to die?

You know very well about your favorite soap’s twist-n-turns…but you don’t have time for your mother’s concerns. We know a to z about American president…but do we know who is living next door...We know economy or it’s inflation, but do we really know what is love, what is affection? ... If this is the way we mean to live, then what is the way we wish to die?
… I don’t have the answer. Have you got any?

Somehow I'm not enough

Few days ago I was talking with 1 of my friend over phone. I’m not gonna tell her name or where she lives in this piece of writing. Lately she is dealing with a terrible problem. And she is always discussing with me about that problem, possible solution or the most effective step which should take next. Because most of my friends believe that I’ve got good instincts. So I was working like a support system for her.

But as that problem is not seems to solve any time soon, she is getting more upset every single day. So finally when she got prepared to give up as she thinks she tried hard and whatever she did it was enough…then I said, “So try harder, you did nothing actually, you are not confident about yourself that you can win that’s why you wanna give up instead of trying harder.” I told her these things only because she is a good friend, only because I do care for her.

But you know what I got in return to hear?...”Johney you will never understand, because you are perfect, your life is perfect, and which will never make you understand the problem of the people like me who is less perfect than you…people like you don’t know what it’s like to get hurt…because you don’t have feelings”

You know, it was just like a tight slap. I thought as she is my good friend she knows me as much as I know her. But alas, she doesn’t…No, now actually I think people don’t know me. They think my life is perfect…Because, I’m never late for anything like appointment/school/work, I never wear a shirt without iron, I’m super strong and confident, my behave is so far formal with everybody, everything is in order in my bed room, I’ve my meal in time, I sleep early, I wake up early, my parents are not complaining about me….What else it can be that people might think about me…

What she thinks…she got the market cornered on human sufferings? ...She doesn’t know anything about the people like me…. For last few months, every morning I wake up and I fail..And I look around, and everybody seems to be pulling it off…But somehow I can't..No matter how hard I try..Somehow I'm not enough; my so called perfect life is not that perfect.... But I never complain to anybody nor I’m showing off my problems on my face … because people like me never give up anything… even though sometimes we feel lost, little, ugly…and dispensable.

I can write about hundreds of other sufferings that people like me might have… So for God sake, don’t dare to tell me that I don’t have feelings only because I hate to disclose myself in public.

2:32 AM, May 17, 2009

The Cure

Just now I watched this movie "The Cure", released in 1995. I know it's too late to watch a great movie like "The Cure". I would say only 1 thing about this movie, this movie is truly sad; you simply won’t be able to keep a dry eye. I know it's so stupid to cry over a movie, but this movie made me to do this stupid thing after a long time.

There is the plot summary of this movie (Courtesy IMDB):

"Dexter, age 11, who has AIDS, and his next door neighbor Eric, a little older and much bigger, become best friends. Eric also becomes closer to Dexter's mother than to his own, who is neglectful and bigoted and violently forbids their friendship upon learning of it. When they read that a doctor in distant New Orleans claims to have found a cure for AIDS, the boys leave home on their own, planning to float down the Mississippi river and find him."

I'm recommending you to watch this movie not only because it's a great movie! But also it's something we could watch to remind us of the many blessings we still receive.
Love...

Monday, April 20, 2009

New Friends

Last night I did something that I don’t do very often…Guess what… yeah I know it’s so not me… but I stayed over at my friends place… And interesting enough, they are my new friends, precisely new Deshi friends … Rony, Rana, and Jahid.

I went there at 7pm…At the beginning of the evening I was feeling weird as Roni, Rana and Jahid were not at home (Jakaria was with me as a company though). But as soon as they get back and the night started to move on, I was feeling more comfortable… There is some glimpse of what we did last night:

•We didn’t sleep at all
•We had very good ‘singara’ made by Rony and others
•We had good music mostly chosen by Rana (He was the dj)
•We had chit chat all the time… from work place to movie, teachers to friends, life in Bd to life in Cyprus…and so on..
•Rana tried to teach me playing 29… I got some points to remember but I was truly drowsy…so couldn’t catch that much… I’ve to take 1 more lesson I guess.
•We had a good dinner (Beef was a bit hot though) at 1/ 2 am
•I discovered their entire nick names who are staying at that apartment… and their fun videos… Adnan and Jahid’s dance was unforgettable…they are hilarious…trust me
•We had tea more than 6/7 times… mostly prepared by Jahid and Rony
•Around 5 or half past 5 we went out for a walk…we got that play ground to sit for a while. Rony and Adnan sung for us… but it was a bit… Jahid is the 1 who stole the show… He sings very well the songs that are sung by James
•On the way back to their home we had few snap shots around the street.
•And then Rana and Rony made a lovely breakfast… Paratha, mixed veg, eggs and salad.

Although we are friends but they are so different from me… If they are from North Pole then I’m from South Pole. There are few facts about this friends group that I’m amazed with:
•They never sleep at night… everyday sleep in the morning. And don’t think them looks exhausted… They look normal, good and most importantly full of life.
•They are so united. You can read only in the books or watch in the movies the kind of friendship and bond they have. It’s amazing.
•They are amazingly hospitable. They treated me like a family… I was feeling that I’m visiting my best friend’s or relative’s place in Bangladesh. Guys I’m so thankful to all of you…it means a lot.

And finally I took off at 8:10am to my place. Although they were insisting me to sleep over there… But I was badly in need to get in touch with my own bed. So, I left…

It was perfect…amazing and totally mind blowing…Love you guys 

7:21 PM, Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Bring them a reason to smile

Unfortunately it is a sad fact that there are many underprivileged children in the world today. Especially in Africa, Asia and South America. Their life is much miserable than our imagination, they are deprived from fulfilling their basic human needs. All they need to grow up like a human being is a little help…a little help from us.

You may think your life is busy enough to do any volunteer work or you are not solvent enough to charity. But trust me all you need is your will power to help these children out. How? I'm telling you...

There are many charitable institutions in every country which aim to help underprivileged children where possible. In this case the most trust worthy organization (in my point of view) is UNICEF. All of us go to McDonald now and then. In every McDonald there is a small box where you can leave your change for these kids. And believe me; each single cent you are donating can make a difference in their live. By a single cent you can bring smile on their face.

Isn't it amazing friends? ...So don't sit and think only, just do it...

12:45 AM, Tuesday, April 14, 2009

1st FRIENDS AWARDS 2008

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

Awards season is going on…in Hollywood, in Bollywood…in everywhere. So I thought how it would be if I start an Award for my friends? (I know, you will say ‘crap’…well I’ve to mention the same thing once again "An Idle Brain is the Devil's Workshop")

So..here we go. This is the category of MY FRIENDS AWARDS 2009:

1. Best friend (Male)
2. Best friend (Female)
3. Top friends in Bangladesh
4. Top friends in Cyprus
5. Top friends in rest of the world
6. Most youngest friend
7. Friend with a Golden heart
8. Most funny friend
9. Most helpful friend
10. Best friend at school
11. Unforgettable friend
12. Top new friends of the year
13. Most disgusting friend

And the Awards goes to:

1. Best friend (Male): Sumon & Zaber
2. Best friend (Female): Ginka
3. Top friends in Bangladesh: Holy
4. Top friends in Cyprus: Parveg
5. Top friends in the rest of the world: Rose
6. Youngest friend: Shamma & Ruhul
7. Friend with a golden Heart: Linda
8. Most funny friend: Debashish
9. Most helpful friend: Imran, Reza & Shamim
10. Best friend at school: Tarek
11. Unforgettable friend: Opu
12. Top new friends of the year: Andrea, Coco, Natalia & Suzana
13. Most disgusting friend: Farooq

So friends… who won the Awards, CONGRATULATIONS. And take this award seriously. Although it’s nothing but a title. But still I valued your impact on my life. I can’t think my life without you. Thanks a lot for your friendship. Always be with me…

Most Disgusting Friend Title winner and the losers…Don’t be upset…Take this award lightly, it's nothing but a fun. But keep try of your level best…One day you will win my heart :)

4:11 AM, Sunday, March 29, 2009

Celebrity Girl friend

How it will be if I make the list of my celebrity girl friend. Well, I know it's a crap idea… But as you know "An Idle Brain is the Devil's Workshop". This is my celebrity girl friend list:

1. Kareena Kapoor
2. Scarlett Johansson
3. Anne Hathaway
4. Penelope Cruz
5. Cameron Diaz

All of them are eternal beautiful, so aprt from that fact....
I love Kareena for every single thing she has.
I love Scarlett for her lips and extra ordinary depth.
I love Anne because she is like the girl who lives next door.
I love Penelope for her Spanish accent English.
I love Cameron for her smile.

2:33 AM, Saturday, March 28, 2009

Bobby

Last night i watched the movie named BOBBY released in 2006. The tag line of that movie is "He saw wrong and tried to right it. He saw suffering and tried to heal it. He saw war and tried to stop it." Well, touching movie. I agree that it tried too hard in a few instances, but it was wonderfully done. I´d recommend it to anyone who likes hard hitting drama kind of movie. I'm not American and I know really a little about JFK, so I can't analyze this movie through a political point of view. But as a movie I liked it.

There is the plot summary of this movie (Courtesy IMDB):
"Tuesday, June 4, 1968: the California presidential primary. As day breaks Robert Kennedy arrives at the Ambassador Hotel; he'll campaign, and then speak to supporters at midnight. To capture the texture of the late 1960s, we see vignettes at the hotel: a couple marries so he can avoid Vietnam, kitchen staff discuss race and baseball, a man cheats on his wife, another is fired for racism, a retired hotel doorman plays chess in the lobby with an old friend, a campaign strategist's wife needs a pair of black shoes, two campaign staff trip on LSD, a lounge singer is on the downhill slide. Through it all, we see and hear RFK calling for a better society and a better nation."

So guys watch that movie if u have time and recommend us some other movie that you liked and want your friends to watch. Stay tuned :)
Love....
11:30 AM, Friday, March 27, 2009

Carnival 2009

Yes, it's really late to write about the Carnival 2009. But they say "Better late than never". So here it goes.

Lately, I and my best friends Ginka's were maintaining a low profile due to many individual problems that we were facing. None of us were partying or going out at all because of some long term practical problems. Then the Carnival thing came. So we decided to go out of our shell and enjoy that festive vibe. But here 1 thing is important to mention. That is Natalia and Coco had a great influence on me to go for the Carnival. But on that carnival day Coco was not here, she was flying back from France and we lost Natalia,Tarek & Gergo due to heavy traffic and insanely crowd.

Apart from that Ginka, Dora (her sis) and me had a great fun. The weather was excellent. We took a huge number of photos, Ginka made some funny videos, we had lunch at McDonalds. When we went near the sea side it was nearly evening, we walked down to harbor for a while, then we end up at the Limassol castle.But unfortunately it was close. Outside there were huge preparation of the Award Event though.

And finally at 7:00 or 7:30pm Ginka start her car to get us back in Nicosia. It was one of the great day that we really enjoyed in this damn season.
11:43 PM, Thursday, March 19, 2009

A Lot Like Love

"Today I began to understand what love must be, if it exists. When we were parted we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. This is I imagine love to be.. Incompleteness, in absence"
...Anonymous

All of a sudden, today I was thinking of all the people that I’ve been in love with…all the people who left a scratch on me… Among all of them still I'm in contact with 1 person (as a friend). I know exactly how that person is…or how life is going on there. But the rest? I wonder how their life is now. Did they get everything what expected...? Did they ever think of me in a lazy afternoon, or at the busy evening? Or during a lonely night? You may call me stupid or idiot, but I do think of you sometime, I really do.

I'm not clever in love, never been. My love thought is candy floss type..Whenever i meet some1, I start to think "great…finally I've met some1 perfect" As time passes, we start to discover "shit! We’re never meant to be each other"…And if both of us realize this, we end up as friends. But if not...either the opposite break my heart or vice versa.

Among all the lost love I do miss 2 of them a lot...One was my first love...She ditch me...as i was so immature on that teenage. And other1? We are parted because of distance...I'm in Cyprus, and my other part is in somewhere far...But really, they are something…unforgettable...you can only dream about…

I don’t know if my parted love will ever read this blog…But there you go….This is for you my parted love:

“IT HAS BEEN OVER 3 YEARS SINCE I LAST SEEN YOU. I HAVE NEVER STOPED THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU TILL THE DAY I DIE…ALWAYS KEEP SMILING…I DON’T REGRATE THAT I DIDN’T GET YOU IN EVERY STEP OF MY LIFE….BUT I ALWAYS LOVED YOU, STILL I DO”
Posted by Johney at 7:36 PM, Sunday, March 15, 2009